DC K.O. is here, and the superhero publisher’s latest event comic has a kind of insane premise, even if it’s also simple in a way. What is it? What would happen if the most powerful characters from its lineup had to fight each other — but, like, for real — in a giant tournament, all so they can build up enough “Omega Energy” to become the new King Omega, which will allow the winner to take on and hopefully defeat an even more god-like Darkseid, who will soon return from a brief flirtation with being dead to destroy everything they love.

Got that? 9

Let’s be honest, though. Even with an elite creative team of writer Scott Snyder, artist Javi Fernandez, interlude artist Xermánico, colorist Alejandro Sanchez, and letterer Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou, we’re not here for the plot. I say that respectfully, but it’s true. We’re here because DC K.O. is basically March Madness-meets-Bloodsport but with metahumans, as 32 different heroes and villains square off out of a desire to become King Omega and to save everyone and everything.

A massive fighting tournament is basically catnip for superhero comic fans, who love to debate unprovable things like “Who would win in a fight?” as much as they actually like to read the stories those take place in at times. The brilliance of what Snyder and his K.O. co-creator Joshua Williamson concocted comes from their desire to answer a single question: “What if we made an entire event that was that debate played out on the page?”

Whether it adds up to a great comic is uncertain. The first issue was a fine start, albeit rather exposition heavy, by necessity. But I’m already enjoying it as a person who cannot resist taking silly things far too seriously. DC knows that comic fans like me are out there, so they’ve leaned into that for DC K.O. by actually creating a bracket challenge for readers to participate in. It allows people to choose who they think will win each matchup before deciding the final winner, with those who do best at predicting getting prizes for their efforts. It’s a great idea. 10 But this comic shop water cooler conversation concept deserves more than just who we think will win. In the comic, it’s going to come down to more than actual strength and fighting acumen. It will involve narrative impact and popularity and any number of other factors. That’s why when I filled out my bracket, a character’s importance to the larger DC brand and story played a part in who I chose. Would they really let Starro beat Wonder Woman? Probably not. But could it win? Maybe!

What I want to do is cut out all the noise and decide who should actually win these fights. There’s no “Batman wins every fight because he’s Batman” here. This gets into crucial considerations and factors that would never play a part in a story owned by a massive corporation — my picks aren’t just brawn and fighting skills, but how they approach this type of thing mentally and emotionally — as intellectual property protection is far more important than “that dude would get wrecked if he fought a giant invulnerable and telepathic starfish.”

That’s what we’ll be doing today, as every matchup is going to be analyzed in far too seriously of a fashion to determine who would actually win them. In short, I’m going Jay Bilas on all of you, as I’m digging into every matchup to determine who should win this tournament, from the first round to the championship fight. This will almost assuredly be the most detailed bracket breakdown for DC’s K.O. tournament you’ll likely find. Who will win? Probably not my pick, especially if DC throws some curveballs in the mix along the way. 11 But let me assure you this: my pick should win!

Before we get into the picks, I wanted to note a couple things. One is that I’ll be naming each section of the bracket, with each being defined by the #1 seed’s home location. Those will be the regional locations for each. I’ve also made assumptions about the seeds in each regional based on how typical March Madness brackets work, with ranking being defined by the position they’re found in. Speaking of, here’s the bracket.

I want to give everyone who was involved with developing this bracket and tournament a ton of credit: These are clever matchups. Whether it’s having a character with the last name Hawke fight an actual hawk man or exposing probable favorites to weaknesses early on, DC knew what they were doing when they set up these brackets. It’s good stuff, and, most of all, it’s entertaining.

My picks will include who I think will win in the actual comic and who I believe should win, with the “Should Win” side defining who carries forward in my bracket. Additionally, if that pick disagrees with my “Will Win” pick, I will no longer include “Will Win” as an option going forward. Got it?

That’s enough preamble. Let’s get to it.

Metropolis Regional

Round One

#1: Superman vs. #8: Giganta

The Matchup: Initially, this did not seem like much of a matchup. Superman’s powerset is basically, “What if every power for a character was a 10 out of 10?” Giganta’s is “What if someone could grow to hundreds of feet tall and that came with proportional strength and durability?” One is a god and the other is real tall and real strong. This shouldn’t be close, even if Giganta is a genius. The only wrinkle that makes it interesting is that Giganta’s powers are magical in nature, and that’s something Superman is vulnerable to. Is that enough to make an upset possible?

Nah.

Who will win: Superman

Who should win: Superman

#4: Captain Atom vs. #5: Power Girl

The Matchup: This is one of the toughest bouts of the first round to pick. It finds a functionally immortal dude with superhuman strength and durability (amongst other things) that turns into a nuclear bomb if he loses too badly versus someone who rivals Superman at every level. Power Girl’s powerset is pretty unreal when you look at it, though, and functionally immortal isn’t the same as actually immortal. This pick also ties into a defining ethos in my thinking for this entire exercise: When in doubt, bet on Kryptonians.

Who will win: Power Girl

Who should win: Power Girl